“Babygirl,'' the erotic thriller starring Nicole Kidman, has proved somewhat divisive in reviews, in theaters, and in group texts sent across the country. Who has more power: Romy, played by Ms. Kidman, a talented tech executive, or the 20-something intern to whom she happily submits? Are certain moments sexy or funny? Is Romy's perversion, being told what to do, really that perverted?
While the audience is far from agreeing, for some women, especially those around Kidman's age, around 57, these questions are more than enough to start a stimulating conversation about sex and desire. Ta.
“After the movie, some men asked me if women really fake orgasms,” said Elizabeth Robbins, 51, who watched the movie with male and female friends. Ta. In the film's opening scene, Romy begins masturbating in private after faking an orgasm with her husband, but then cheats on him as she explores her urge to be dominated.
“I was like, 'Yeah, yeah.'
She says the group started asking themselves if they were talking about their desires enough, or if they were talking about sex in a healthy way. Robbins, an ophthalmology assistant in Boston, discussed this with two other friends, Elizabeth Pavese, 37, and Josephine Sasso, 47, and she joined the erotic fiction podcast Lusty. We co-host the Library Podcast. After watching the movie, I was having similar conversations with people in my circle.
“I went to see it with a friend last night, and we were whispering to each other the whole time,” said Pavese, who lives in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. “We ended up having a conversation in the car on the way home and learned some things” about each other that we didn't know. That was pretty clear. ”
“I was like, 'Okay, I'm at this level now,'” she said. “We were already pretty open with each other, but we need a little stimulation.”
The film appears to continue the conversation women have been having around Miranda July's novel “On All Fours,” which was published last spring. This novel tells the story of a 45-year-old mother and wife who embark on a journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening. affair with a younger man.
In the months since her book came out, July has been inundated with messages from women sharing their stories.
“Six months ago, I would have thought I was one of a million people thinking about these issues in my life,” July said in a phone interview. “After my experiences with readers over the past six months, I no longer feel like I'm special.”
“Women are very good at disseminating information,” she added.
Recently, July posted her writing and created Substack, where people can come together and talk about “all fours.” “It’s not a book club! It’s a place to talk about your life,” she says. She also made herself a hat that read “Group Chat on All Fours'' to show other women that she was open to conversations not only about July's novel, but also about the larger themes it brings to the surface. There are also women who have
“What we need is for people to say, “Oh yeah, this is me too,'' or “Maybe you're wondering if I think this is insane, but I don't.'' All you have to do is tell me,” July said. , recently posted about “Babygirl” on her Instagram story with gratitude. “It’s a new way of thinking and communicating, and it’s impactful.”
Chantal Gauthier, a sex and relationship therapist in private practice in London and senior lecturer at the University of Westminster, said cultural moments like these can help people open up about their lives and reduce stigma. He said there is a possibility.
“We need to release more films like this to talk about these themes,” she said.
One woman said she was surprised by how much her friends opened up to her after watching the movie.
When Victoria Villegas decided to go see “Baby Girl,” she knew she'd have to go alone. “I was worried that none of my friends or boyfriends would be interested,” she said.
Villegas, 31, saw himself in the movie even before he saw it. Like Kidman's character, Romy, she is into BDSM, but says she has always felt embarrassed about it, something she attributes to her Catholic upbringing. “Sex in general is already taboo, so having desires and desires that go beyond the mainstream feels even more shameful,” she said.
But when Villeagas told her friend she was going to see it, he surprised her by offering to come along. “There was a point in the movie where I pointed at the screen and said, 'I was here,'” she said. “I feel much closer to my friend now that I know this is something we can discuss together.”
She also discusses the film's themes with her female friends, who, like her, went to Catholic school and find it difficult to be open about their sexuality.
“I’m still sick of it,” she said. “It means a lot to me to be able to do a movie like this because I think it was something that I didn't want to keep too secret or talk about.”
Iliana Melendez, 27, who works in advertising in San Juan, Puerto Rico, said that even though she is a member of Generation Z, she still finds it difficult to talk about sex.
“I think there's something really, really common, especially among women who have had certain upbringings, such as religious upbringing, where they're taught to demonize their own desires and sexuality,” she said.
She was especially touched when she saw an older woman alongside her in the movie theater.
“Next to me was a group of women in their 50s and 60s,” Melendez said. “The movie got them talking,” she said.In the end, “they were like, 'Okay, she got what she wanted.'”
“We don't know if they have undergone a transformation,” she added. “But by the end they definitely seemed more open to these experiences.”
