Love worthy of early retirement and cross-country moves

Dr. Raymond Joseph Parungao and Dr. Andrew Chi Hao Chen were drawn to each other at the moment their eyes were trapped.

It was February 28, 2010, and I was in a gay bar monastery in West Hollywood, California.

“The music was loud, but it was gone as I was staring at Andrew,” Dr. Parungao said.

“I saw Ray and time just stopped,” Chen said. “I needed to know more, 'Who is this?' ”

The two, who were with mutual friends, got their drinks, headed towards the quiet corner and began talking. They parted ways around midnight and again three days later they planned a date at the monastery.

Dr. Parungao, 55, was the first to arrive. “My heart was beating fast as I waited for Andrew,” he said. “I haven't stopped thinking about him since we met.”

That night revealed that their mutual desires were fierce and authentic. They chatted for hours about sharing their family, their upbringing and their love of travel. “We talked about everything, but we didn't do anything and we could have chatted for days,” Chen said.

The following month they exchanged the ring as a symbol of commitment, and eight months after the meeting, Mr. Chen moved to Dr. Parungao's West Hollywood Mansion.

At the time, Chen worked as a branch manager at a bank in Los Angeles, but dreamed of being a hairstylist. In September 2013, he worked several jobs at New York Fashion Week. “After that experience, New York called me to offer professionally,” Chen said. “I've decided to move.”

Dr. Parungao works as a pediatric intensive care unit physician at Kaiser Permanente in Los Angeles, and his contract was fired from the task. The two split up friendlyly, and in October 2013, Chen set out for Manhattan. “I wanted Andrew to follow his passion freely and not feel the burden of long distance relationships,” Dr. Parungao said.

They remained nearby and continued chatting every day. In June 2016, they rekindled their romance when Dr. Parungao visited Mr. Chen and the two participated in the Pride Parade. “We were dancing to Kylie Minogue, who played 'All Lover' at a concert on the pier. All I could do was stare at Lei,” Chen said. “We kissed and knew we weren't separated.”

They decided to try a second-class date. Each of them took turns and decided to watch the other two or three weekends on the moon. Marriage was included in the card. “We were talking about it early in our relationship, but we didn't discuss it when or when,” Dr. Parungao said.

They began celebrating their 60th birthday in September 2016 on a trip to Iceland with Chen's mother Patty Chen.

The trio were able to take an evening bus tour through the countryside near Reykjavik to see the Northern Lights. Dr. Parungao asked Mr. Chen as they stopped along with the field. “We gave a three-way hug and wept under the light,” Chen said.

(Click here to read this week's featured couples.)

Growing up in Conniers, Georgia, Dr. Parungao holds a bachelor's degree in science history from Johns Hopkins University and a master's degree in public health from George Washington University. He holds a medical degree from Howard University.

Chen is a native of Diamond Bar, California and works as a freelance hairstylist at Stephen Knoll Salon in New York. He received his bachelor's degree in business management from Pepperdine University and studied hairdresser at Santa Monica College. He is currently in the final year of the new school's graduate program in environmental sciences.

After their engagement, they continued their bi-layered life during Covid, except when Chen was not at work, moving to Los Angeles for two years.

But by 2024 they were living apart and apart after they had returned to their two competitive relationships. “We took Kaiser's early retirement package and moved to New York in February, where we were with Andrew full time,” Dr. Parungao said.

They currently live in Long Island City, Queens, and are in the process of having children through agents. “That's a great sense of security,” Chen said. “We can do spontaneous walks together or have lunch without planning everything in advance.”

On February 28th, 15 years after the first meeting, Mr. Chen and Dr. Parungao married Yang Hwang Chen, the MC of the Manhattan City Office, to his parents as witnesses.

After the ceremony, they took a photo shoot at City Hall Park and took Zumba Dance Classes. That night, the couple celebrated with 70 family and friends at the Chinese restaurant Shan in Boelm Hill, Brooklyn.

“We danced, wept, cheered, toasted,” Chen said.