Our daughter expects to raise a child even when a toddler gets sick. Help!

My husband and I provide childcare for our 18 month old granddaughter in the 70s. She spends two days a week with us in daycare for three days. She is frequently sick and we have RSV, cold and flu from her. When I suggested my daughter leave my grandchild at home on the worst day, she replied that my formation-phobic anxiety caused her anxiety and that she would use day care full time. (She also said I need expert help.) Problem: My husband is devastated! He wants to take care of our granddaughter, whether she is sick or not. But if he gets sick I will. I mask, but I'm still exposed. So I'm reluctant to make plans with friends and cancel other people out of fear of infecting people. Meanwhile, my daughter accuss me of refusing her “gift” to spend time with her granddaughter. Help!

grandmother

I'm sorry your daughter spoke to you so unkindly. I sympathize with the need for parenting that she can trust, but it is often difficult to find and expensive. But that's not your fault. You are already raising your child. If you and your husband want to sell, great! But it is also reasonable to argue your boundaries: who will care for the child when she is sick or infectious?

Even if your daughter moves her child to day care full time, there's still the problem of sending her when she gets sick. Infectious children are generally not welcome. And framing your wise concerns about your health, as a hypochondria – she throws the need for parenting as a gift, but seems manipulative.

So, about possible solutions: your husband wants to take care of your grandchildren regardless of her health. Perhaps on the day she is sick, he can see her at your daughter's house. He frequently needs to hide his hands and wash. And if he is strict about this protocol, he may be able to stop it without getting sick or getting infected with you. If he can't do it, try a parenting experiment!

Seat policy left me in the cold

For my partner's birthday, I took her to the hipest restaurant in our city. The website states that reservations are not accepted and that being offered first is a fair experience for everyone. So we waited 30 minutes in the cold. As we were next in line, we watched the staff shove some tables together and moved the already-sitting couple to accommodate a party of six behind us. The host said there would be no room for us that night. Did the restaurant taint us?

Diner

Dirty and dirty! Unless the restaurant website has the requirement that large party reservations are accepted (I see them sometimes), I think you were treated unfairly. Call your manager to report your experience. The host may have made a mistake in his judgment that night. We all make mistakes!

If your manager doesn't apologize (or offers a little something to seduce you), then take comfort in the knowledge that even the most hip joints will shorten life expectancy when the customer handles badly.

The principle of existence

My family will be attending a wedding at a relative's international destination. The trip is estimated to cost over $8,000 for air travel, car rentals, hotels and food. Still, we are delighted to take this trip for a happy couple. My question: What is our fascinating obligation to our bridal couple when we spent so much to attend their wedding?

guest

In my experience with international destination weddings (total: 2), the bridal couple implicitly admitted the cost of the trip with a simple line on the invitation. There are no gifts. I instead followed and wrote the letter of blessing. So, if you haven't received it yet, check the invitation.

If the invitation is silent about the gift, make common sense and budget your guide. $8,000 assumes more than you normally spend on attending a wedding, and bridal couples know this. Therefore, if necessary, consider a token gift or a warm letter instead of a regular gift. Not even a wedding for relatives – it's not worth breaking the bank.

Protect your temptation from the scope of your cravings

My partner has lost the sensitivity of his taste buds so he doesn't eat much. However, he buys ice cream and says eating it is therapeutic for him. I struggle with my weight, but it's hard to resist ice cream when it's inside the house. We discussed this at length without solving it. advice?

partner

I'm also struggling with sweets. But it doesn't give me the right to prohibit my husband from taking him to our home with his faster metabolism. He lives here too! If you don't have more serious health concerns, try our compromises. My husband has his candies and ice cream in his home office – away from the kitchen – I trained to avoid them. Does the minifridge work?

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