give the correct name
I have a colleague whose name is frequently mispronounced by others. This coworker listed the correct pronunciation in their Slack bio, and I've heard them say my name. So I'm sure you know how it should be pronounced. Despite this, people from different teams, and even our own, often misunderstand. What bothers me is that my coworker never corrects anyone during a meeting or phone call, and I can't help but get angry on her behalf. I would like to address this issue as I think we should try to call everyone by their correct name/pronunciation, but am I in a position to intervene or how do I approach this issue without overstepping? I don't know what to do. Is it inappropriate to privately reach out to people who misspell their names and ask them to kindly correct them, or should they let their colleagues decide how to proceed?
— Name-conscious colleague
This is tough. Names can be difficult to pronounce for various reasons. The name sounds “foreign” or is unusual. The names read like the same thing, but they sound like different things. The name is ambiguous and can be pronounced differently. (“Anna'' is a common name in a variety of languages, from Spanish to Italian to Russian.)
But consistently mispronouncing someone's name can say a lot about that person. It suggests a lack of attention to detail. I failed to listen. Bad memory. At worst, intentional disrespect. (Remember how Donald Trump and other Republicans insisted on mispronouncing Kamala Harris' first name during the recent presidential campaign?)
We rarely hear our names spoken out loud, so when we do, we want others to understand us correctly. A man I recently dated confessed that he didn't know how to read my name because he had never said it out loud. I don't really care whether people call me “AN-na” (correct pronunciation) or “AH-na,” but I found his self-involvement fascinating and thoughtful.
But for some people, mispronouncing their name becomes a lifelong annoyance. I started a job a few years ago where one of the top executives “read” their names the same way, but they actually pronounced them a little differently. When I mispronounced her name during the introductory meeting, she immediately corrected me (a little harshly, I might add). But I understood her position. She probably had to correct it multiple times and was probably annoyed that I confidently pronounced (or mispronounced) her name.
But let's go back to your colleague and think about whether you should intervene. I don't think you should do that. Instead, I think you can simply educate others by continuing to show rather than tell, i.e. pronounce your colleague's name correctly in front of others. Just don't contact your co-workers personally. This can lead to patronizing or defensive co-workers. Be confident that your coworker is dealing with the issue the best way they know how at this time, and let them decide how to proceed. And that may just not be saying anything.
