The “White Lotus” friendship triangle resonates with the viewer

When 40-year-old Desiree Frederickson began watching the third season of “The White Lotus,” the show quickly became personal to her. “I was triggered right away,” she said.

The HBO series tracks guests and employees around the fictional resort chain White Lotus, and is set this season on Koh Samui, a Thai island. Among the gags of the wealthy guest are three women in their late 40s who have been friends since elementary school, but now live different lives. Jaclyn is a Los Angeles-based actress (played by Michelle Monaghan). Raleigh is a divorce lawyer in New York City (Carry Coon). Kate is a Texas housewife (Leslie Bibb).

(Warning: spoilers first.)

To each other, they are supportive and free. Behind each other's backs, they're petty, rumoured, competitive. In various combinations, the two are paired to talk about the third, a dynamic resonance with the third audience.

“I've been in this exact scenario many times throughout my life,” said Frederickson, who lives in Fontana, California. “I'm in a group of three. Or I'm the middle person they're talking about and we'll find out later.”

Last year, she had to navigate the complexity of the triangle of friendship. Ten months ago, when she gave birth to a baby, one friend was mad that another friend first began seeing her baby on FaceTime. She is also trying to compensate with friends who feel left out as Frederickson and other friends are hanging out more.

“Let's say this show is validated,” she added with a laugh.

Lisa Morse, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan, said, “In our society, a lot of the information about friendship is very sanitized. You look at people's Instagram and they're all on these girls' trips, everyone looks happy, and it's so perfect.”

However, she added: There is tension between them and the imbalance, and I think their interactions and dynamics are something that almost every woman can have. ”

Of course, 3-way dynamics is a staple of reality television. On the Bravo show “Southern Charm,” Best Friends (or) Shep Rose, Austin Crawl and Craig Connover frequently speak behind each other's backs. In “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” the intimate friendship of Judge Tamra, Vicki Gunbarson and Shannon Beader refers to themselves as “Tress Amigus,” but collapses after gossip and cruel conversations with each other from ears.

Dr. Morse said that the friendship triangle has its advantages. “When you have three, there's everything more,” she said. “There's more fun, there's more energy, there's more support, there's more variety and the benefits of feeling you're part of a group.”

“If one person doesn't meet your needs, you get it from another,” she continued. “There are many different opinions, so there's something even more interesting.”

But she added, three things need to be careful about. “There's more drama, there's more power shifts, there's more competition,” she said. “There's the idea that it's the third wheel.”

One scene from “The White Lotus,” which truly resonated with Emmeline, a 33-year-old florist in New York City, asked her not to use her last name for privacy.

“I'm the kind of person who needs to run out of social batteries at a certain point and then retreat into the room,” she said. “But in the end, like that one character, you feel left out – almost irrational. I've done a lot of angry fake screams.”

Some viewers use the show as a driving force for healthier friendship choices. “I'm cutting fat,” said Stuart Brazel, 43, an entertainment reporter and content creator who lives in Los Angeles. She posted a video to Tiktok about her feelings, and said that she was also overwhelmed by the commenters, and that they were trying to leave behind a friendship that made them feel sick. “Looking at these types of relationships on screen benefits us all,” she said.

Emmeline also experiences the pain of being spoken behind her back. She still remembers a weekend trip she took with a friend who she thought would have a “absolute explosion.” “On the flight from the trip, I was in good spirits, so I found out that friend B texted friend A. “How was the weekend?” And friend A replied, “Well, I didn't kill her.” That really hurt my feelings back then. ”

“It was the beginning until the end of my friendship within the trio anyway,” she said. “The trio is tough.”